She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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