he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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