You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
