it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
