Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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