You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
