Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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