i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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