So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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