i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
