I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
