I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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