so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
