Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just want to make out with him forever
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
