Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
