there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
