Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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