break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
