I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
