so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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