lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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