I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
