i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
high people should be assigned attendants
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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