Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
