remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
