Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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