we're blogging at a bar
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
