he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
