just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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