where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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