You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
