the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
