i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the day after is always just damage control
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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