i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
