I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
