I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
