I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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