So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
