Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
