it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
