I want to walk on stilts...naked
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
