So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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