Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
