He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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