"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this boner is exhausting
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
