She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
