This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
