Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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