it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
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