But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
