He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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