Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
did i just pee glitter
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
