I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
