he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
