I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
