I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
