i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
