Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sext me about skeletons
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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