is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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