you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
