Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
